It's quite sad that the fact i am actually typing my last post, even though i don't quite fancy typing it. It means that this module is going to be over. I must say that i had learn quite a lot from this module and through your teaching. After taking this lesson, i tend to look out more what is inside of each and everyone. and i found a lot of my friends are a turtle in the conflict management style!!! i think i can be a shark so that i can eat them up! p.s: just a joke here to relieve your tensions
To answer the question in the guideline, the answers are all from my previous posts.. but i don't mind summarizing it up to make things easier. What i have learn useful is as follows:
Having self-esteem is a very important thing, it is the same as 'having morale'. a huge army without morale will be defeated in the battlefield by a little team of army with high morale.
To listen most effectively, one should look interested and lean, ignore internal and external distraction, suspend judgment, tell them what have i heard, experience their side & not to interrupt (LISTEN).
There's no need to be angry, it only harm the health of a person.. learn to control the anger by using the most popular way; taking a deep breath and some other good things to do is to shout out to the sea, find a punching bag and pounce on it, talk to someone and think positively.
Whenever there is a conflict, never assume it will always be a bad thing, in fact conflicts can help improve self-awareness, strengthens relationships, promote group cohesion, promotes creativity, helps problem-solving, is fun and motivating.
Learning all the stuffs from the lecture, i know that my personal values has gone up! I would like to use this chance to say Thank you, Mrs Chin. I had enjoyed hearing your real life experiences.
There is one improvement i would like to voice out which is, Limit the Maximum Blogging Words. Some student just throw in everything they learn into their blogging and the poor lecturer have to go through them one by one, even though there's such thing called speed reading. the eye sight of the lecturer will be worsen. Limit the words so that student can learn to express themselves in short and clear paragraphs.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Conflict and Teamwork
After the Life Management Skill assignment 3 group presentation is over, i take a look back from my mind. I am happy to meet them up to take video together, there was alot of NGs, lots of crazy laughters and mostly i had fun. Not even a mere conflict at all.
I think i am good in 'bypassing things with a smile'(strength) but i am a serious person and may get 'easily annoyed'(weakness) by some basic manners. Lets picture a class of students in a room doing a presentation and you are paying attention to it, a sitting group behind is doing their own things and talking non stop among themselves with their normal volume of voice.. for a serious person like me, i easily get distracted and will likely be irritated by them. I am quite proud of my team.. where every members are paying attention to other group's presentation, other group's effort.
I didn't know that conflict may be a good thing until i read the lecture notes, it says that conflict improve self-awareness, strengthens relationships, promote group cohesion, promotes creativity, helps problem-solving, is fun and motivating. Which is very true after some thought about it. But it doesn't means people have to be in a conflict in order to achieve the good things.
I must say that my conflict management style varies depending on the situation and who is the person i am having conflict with. But generally, i am a turtle, the avoiding style. There is once my friend is angry with me because i was said to back-stab her. But the problem is, what she told me was supposed to be a open topic as she didn't ask me to keep a secret, i don't know why the anger. It ended up me avoiding her in school and blocking her in msn for a duration, just for being talkative. But in the end, we are good friend again. Being a turtle is quite effective when you know you didn't do anything wrong and when the person maligned you because, the truth will find its way one day.
The Kare Anderson's model for conflict resolution would definitely be the one i will to manage any conflicts. It just comes in 4 simple steps to resolve a conflict:
I think i am good in 'bypassing things with a smile'(strength) but i am a serious person and may get 'easily annoyed'(weakness) by some basic manners. Lets picture a class of students in a room doing a presentation and you are paying attention to it, a sitting group behind is doing their own things and talking non stop among themselves with their normal volume of voice.. for a serious person like me, i easily get distracted and will likely be irritated by them. I am quite proud of my team.. where every members are paying attention to other group's presentation, other group's effort.
I didn't know that conflict may be a good thing until i read the lecture notes, it says that conflict improve self-awareness, strengthens relationships, promote group cohesion, promotes creativity, helps problem-solving, is fun and motivating. Which is very true after some thought about it. But it doesn't means people have to be in a conflict in order to achieve the good things.
I must say that my conflict management style varies depending on the situation and who is the person i am having conflict with. But generally, i am a turtle, the avoiding style. There is once my friend is angry with me because i was said to back-stab her. But the problem is, what she told me was supposed to be a open topic as she didn't ask me to keep a secret, i don't know why the anger. It ended up me avoiding her in school and blocking her in msn for a duration, just for being talkative. But in the end, we are good friend again. Being a turtle is quite effective when you know you didn't do anything wrong and when the person maligned you because, the truth will find its way one day.
The Kare Anderson's model for conflict resolution would definitely be the one i will to manage any conflicts. It just comes in 4 simple steps to resolve a conflict:
Step 1
Tell yourself the your main needs
|
Tell yourself the your main needs
|
Step 2
Reach out to find the other person's main needs
|
Step 3
Listen to the other person
|
Step 4
Propose a solution that supports their main needs and yours as well
Reach out to find the other person's main needs
|
Step 3
Listen to the other person
|
Step 4
Propose a solution that supports their main needs and yours as well
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Managing Anger & Listening Skills
The lessons with the lecturer brings up a lot of real experiences of which I had seen or went through in my life. There are people who are very short tempered while some are cool headed, there are people who only listens to the things they are interested and agree with while some are good listeners who will listen to everything, even those that they are against with.
I am personally a cool headed person, I must say that all friends have yet to see my anger, even me myself couldn't even remember what or when was the last time i had anger. Something I found useful from the 2 topics are:
Anger makes people do things that hurt other people's feeling, but they don't really meant to do that in fact they only want to vent out their anger directly to the person who made the trigger to his anger, to let the person have a feel of his feeling while some other indirect people also get affected from the anger of the person for example: when the angry person chose to withdraw and ignore his friends. Altogether, anger management is essential for our daily lives, it makes the society a better place henceforth if everybody can control their anger, this can help to minimise disputes which leads to fights which is a cycle that will never end, so our only aim is to cut down on the anger rate in the world by improving the personal value of anger capacity of the people. Making a campaign such as 'Anger Equals Loser Game' would be nice.
However, there are a lot of other ways to keep anger controlled, a deep breathing technique is the most common used to control anger. I personally like to vent out anger on other things like, going for a run, i make use of the anger and covert it into a form of energy so that i can run for a longer distance, the time when i have finished my run means that the energy from anger and my own value of stamina has been exhausted. anyway, the anger might be still there so i will try not to think negatively i can do that by distracting myself to other things. Controlling anger over time can also increase the capacity of a person.
Listening is a very important thing, it explains why we got 2 ears and only 1 mouth, we have to listen first before interrupting. To listen effectively, we have to acknowledge what the person had say and sometimes repeat his speech, to 'catch' what the person is saying, one has to be attentive and don't get distracted by external barriers such as distracting noise. now i also learn that the speaker may also become a external barrier if he speaks too soft or too fast, the way dresses may also distract the listener's attention and even the cologne the speaker wears may irritate the allergies of the listener. So overall, the speaker and the listener plays a part on whether the message can be send through successfully altogether.
Some internal barrier are affected by the emotions, the physical state and the filters of the listener, when the listener is moody, he won't have the interest to listen to anything. When the listener is tired, his mind won't be able to take in anything. When a person's Christianity, he won't be interested to the talking of a Buddhism religion. All the examples above shuts down the listener from listening.
One way to listen effectively is to use the ground rules LISTEN:
L: look interested and lean
I: ignore or overcome internal and external distractions
S: suspend judgment
T: tell them what you have heard
E: experience their side
N: no interruptions
I am personally a cool headed person, I must say that all friends have yet to see my anger, even me myself couldn't even remember what or when was the last time i had anger. Something I found useful from the 2 topics are:
Anger makes people do things that hurt other people's feeling, but they don't really meant to do that in fact they only want to vent out their anger directly to the person who made the trigger to his anger, to let the person have a feel of his feeling while some other indirect people also get affected from the anger of the person for example: when the angry person chose to withdraw and ignore his friends. Altogether, anger management is essential for our daily lives, it makes the society a better place henceforth if everybody can control their anger, this can help to minimise disputes which leads to fights which is a cycle that will never end, so our only aim is to cut down on the anger rate in the world by improving the personal value of anger capacity of the people. Making a campaign such as 'Anger Equals Loser Game' would be nice.
However, there are a lot of other ways to keep anger controlled, a deep breathing technique is the most common used to control anger. I personally like to vent out anger on other things like, going for a run, i make use of the anger and covert it into a form of energy so that i can run for a longer distance, the time when i have finished my run means that the energy from anger and my own value of stamina has been exhausted. anyway, the anger might be still there so i will try not to think negatively i can do that by distracting myself to other things. Controlling anger over time can also increase the capacity of a person.
Listening is a very important thing, it explains why we got 2 ears and only 1 mouth, we have to listen first before interrupting. To listen effectively, we have to acknowledge what the person had say and sometimes repeat his speech, to 'catch' what the person is saying, one has to be attentive and don't get distracted by external barriers such as distracting noise. now i also learn that the speaker may also become a external barrier if he speaks too soft or too fast, the way dresses may also distract the listener's attention and even the cologne the speaker wears may irritate the allergies of the listener. So overall, the speaker and the listener plays a part on whether the message can be send through successfully altogether.
Some internal barrier are affected by the emotions, the physical state and the filters of the listener, when the listener is moody, he won't have the interest to listen to anything. When the listener is tired, his mind won't be able to take in anything. When a person's Christianity, he won't be interested to the talking of a Buddhism religion. All the examples above shuts down the listener from listening.
One way to listen effectively is to use the ground rules LISTEN:
L: look interested and lean
I: ignore or overcome internal and external distractions
S: suspend judgment
T: tell them what you have heard
E: experience their side
N: no interruptions
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Enhancing Self-Awareness & Self-Esteem
This is my first posting of Life Management Skills! Something to share with you all is that when I first came into ngee ann poly, I realised that its not a easy thing at all. Comparing with my previous school ITE Bishan, there are huge changes. The teaching pace is way too fast! Not only that, students coming after their O levels mostly speaks fluent English, I am quite embarrass about myself for being unable to speak English as fluent or as good as them. But after some thoughts, I don't think it matters much to them anyway. It's myself being a little bit too self conscious but it is a natural thing I guess, for my character to feel that way.
I decided to speak English with my friends every time from now, most likely with friends without fluent speaking ability so we can practise the language and to improve together. At first, we felt awkward because we have been speaking in mandarin all the time since the day we know each other. Its a few days speaking ONLY English with my friend, I am not too sure whether I had improved or not, thats my blind spot I guess..
Overall I think self awareness can be good and bad, depending on how optimistic the person is. For me, I will be happy to change myself for the better if I know any thing about me goes wrong. Same for my blind spot, I hope people can point them out to me and when I realised it is wrong to do that something I will change it for good if it can be changed. The more bad points I know I have override by good points, the higher self-esteem I will have.
I decided to speak English with my friends every time from now, most likely with friends without fluent speaking ability so we can practise the language and to improve together. At first, we felt awkward because we have been speaking in mandarin all the time since the day we know each other. Its a few days speaking ONLY English with my friend, I am not too sure whether I had improved or not, thats my blind spot I guess..
Overall I think self awareness can be good and bad, depending on how optimistic the person is. For me, I will be happy to change myself for the better if I know any thing about me goes wrong. Same for my blind spot, I hope people can point them out to me and when I realised it is wrong to do that something I will change it for good if it can be changed. The more bad points I know I have override by good points, the higher self-esteem I will have.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
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