Managing Anger & Listening Skills

The lessons with the lecturer brings up a lot of real experiences of which I had seen or went through in my life. There are people who are very short tempered while some are cool headed, there are people who only listens to the things they are interested and agree with while some are good listeners who will listen to everything, even those that they are against with.

I am personally a cool headed person, I must say that all friends have yet to see my anger, even me myself couldn't even remember what or when was the last time i had anger. Something I found useful from the 2 topics are:

Anger makes people do things that hurt other people's feeling, but they don't really meant to do that in fact they only want to vent out their anger directly to the person who made the trigger to his anger, to let the person have a feel of his feeling while some other indirect people also get affected from the anger of the person for example: when the angry person chose to withdraw and ignore his friends. Altogether, anger management is essential for our daily lives, it makes the society a better place henceforth if everybody can control their anger, this can help to minimise disputes which leads to fights which is a cycle that will never end, so our only aim is to cut down on the anger rate in the world by improving the personal value of anger capacity of the people. Making a campaign such as 'Anger Equals Loser Game' would be nice.

However, there are a lot of other ways to keep anger controlled, a deep breathing technique is the most common used to control anger. I personally like to vent out anger on other things like, going for a run, i make use of the anger and covert it into a form of energy so that i can run for a longer distance, the time when i have finished my run means that the energy from anger and my own value of stamina has been exhausted. anyway, the anger might be still there so i will try not to think negatively i can do that by distracting myself to other things. Controlling anger over time can also increase the capacity of a person.

Listening is a very important thing, it explains why we got 2 ears and only 1 mouth, we have to listen first before interrupting. To listen effectively, we have to acknowledge what the person had say and sometimes repeat his speech, to 'catch' what the person is saying, one has to be attentive and don't get distracted by external barriers such as distracting noise. now i also learn that the speaker may also become a external barrier if he speaks too soft or too fast, the way dresses may also distract the listener's attention and even the cologne the speaker wears may irritate the allergies of the listener. So overall, the speaker and the listener plays a part on whether the message can be send through successfully altogether.

Some internal barrier are affected by the emotions, the physical state and the filters of the listener, when the listener is moody, he won't have the interest to listen to anything. When the listener is tired, his mind won't be able to take in anything. When a person's Christianity, he won't be interested to the talking of a Buddhism religion. All the examples above shuts down the listener from listening.

One way to listen effectively is to use the ground rules LISTEN:
L: look interested and lean
I: ignore or overcome internal and external distractions
S: suspend judgment
T: tell them what you have heard
E: experience their side
N: no interruptions